My father once told me that friends like football clubs should never be abandoned or written off entirely. Rather they should be relegated in order of ranking based on certain performance indicators; it is pretty much the way a football club must compete for places in the league each season.
Seasons do change and some friends may sometimes change just like the season. Obviously you know that you don’t have to complain or beat yourself up about it, it’s just the way life works. Fighting it won’t change it a lot. Unfortunately some friends would take advantage of you, fortunately other friends would never speak ill of you even behind your back. Some “friends” would cheat you blindly or even cheat on you. Others would fight anyone who even insinuates the prospect of ever hurting you. Ultimately you may need to keep prioritizing the importance of certain people in your life especially when either you or them begin to change. The next question is, do people really change? Well, maybe they don’t change so much as they merely reveal other parts of who they are as a result of perhaps a significant emotional event or a re-ordering of their core values.We end up liking people who we share similar values, beliefs and habits, we develop deep rapport with them.
Personally, I think the 3 pillars of a great friendship is Respect, Likeness and Trust. These are like the three legs of a bar-stool on which every great friendship stands. Think about someone you consider to be a friend and evalute them based on these 3 qualities. Now sometimes it does happen that you can have a friend who you really like but don’t trust, due to past experience or observation. On the other hand there are those acquaintances who you respect and even hang-out with but don’t particularly like; kinda like my love-hate relationship with the business mogul, Donald Trump, I like his acute business sense but I hate his politics and personal philosophy. Even when I become a billionaire, I doubt I would play a lot of golf with him. More of a Richard Branson kind of guy is who I can visualize chilling with.
Ultimately I figure for anyone to become a good friend with you, it has got to be someone who you admire, have a fondness for and both share a mutual respect for each other. When you’re with this friend, you know you can let your hair down, let your doubts surface, speak and be told the truth, show your vulnerability. Such a friendship gives you freedom to be just who you are without pressure or undue expectation.
Friendship is really all about being honest to each other. It is a gift of each other’s time and emotion. So to attract the type of friends you want to keep, get your act together. If you already have a great friendship, keep it together.