For the last two months, many of my friends asked my opinion on Tyler Perry’s latest movie, Acrimony. Now I don’t intend to make this a movie review, but I think somethings must be straigtened out on how we manage our darker emotions and the effect on our decision making process.
Envy is quite simple and straightforward. I want something you have- firm abs, a designer shoe, a leather bag, a new car, a house.
Now if this emotion is motivating enough I can go out to work hard at getting it.
Jealousy however is a 3 way relationship. Not so straight forward.
More like a triangle… where I just don’t want something you have.
Instead I want something that other people admire in you.
Envy and jealousy travel together but are different emotions both are negative and can make you feel miserable and ruin your relationships.
When you wish you have your friend’s Mercedes Benz, thats envy.
When you feel threatened by how much your wife praises one of your friend’s Benz, thats jealousy. Jealousy is when a third person threatens a relationship you are afraid to lose someone you love in the hands of other.
Jealousy causes us to take precautionary measures. Should those fail and the partner has an affair, the new situation arouses anger, depression, and acrimony.
Jealousy and envy are natural instincts. However, you can manage how you react. Both emotions mask other feelings that can become lethal.
They hide our insecurity, shame or need to possess they feed our inner-critic making us feel worthless.
Envy is a reaction to lacking something; Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something or someone. Jealousy and envy are still the cause of most current conflicts both in the professional and personal world. Marriages end when one partner is jealous of the other’s achievements or paycheck.
Envy is the religion of the mediocre. It comforts them, it soothes their worries, and finally, it rots their souls, allowing them to justify their meanness and their greed until they believe these to be virtues!
Please realise that there is no ideal. Everyone is fighting a battle that you have no idea about. People have their own demons and issues that they don’t advertise on social media, so don’t get carried away by the glossiness of their photographs- it’s all filtered.
Try to realize that when the sun is shining somewhere else, it’s midnight elsewhere. But that doesn’t imply that things will remain that way. You can change and become better, you can learn and earn more, you can choose to ignore dwelling another’s blessings and start counting yours instead.
Manage your emotions or you may end up bitter. Manage your expectations and stop the delusion that the world is unfair because someone else has it better than you think they deserve.