Sometimes I get requests from single ladies to get introduced to my friends who are “eligible bachelors”. When I was younger, I used to be interested in match-making, but not anymore, I just can’t deal with being the middle-man when things go awry as they sometimes do.
Then I get a lot of whining from these single ladies that there are no good men left, and I’m left bewildered. I didn’t know men were an endangered species.
Perhaps the problem isn’t that there are no good men left, maybe it’s just that women suddenly have higher expectations of a young single Nigerian. Just ask any lady and she’ll give you a long list of what she desires from a guy: he’s got to be hard-working, handsome, tall, physically fit, generous, have a 6-digit income, drive a fancy car, own a house in a good part of the city… and lastly be God fearing (I wonder why this always comes last).
Nothing’s wrong with this list, except that it’s unfair to put all the trappings of “success” on just the guy. What do you have to offer as a lady? What do you bring to the table?
A relationship is meant to be team-work where each person helps the other become all that they can be. So if you’re waiting for someone who is already ready-made, then it is likely that in the relationship you’ll end up being more of a parasite and burden, at best you’ll be a trophy-wife. Eventually, you’ll be screaming for equal-rights when you were never equal in the first place!
So my advice to single ladies would be, focus on loving yourself more. When you love and accept yourself for who you are, then you’ll be more, be more and do much more than you’re doing. The more love you give to yourself, the more love the Earth would give to you. Also practice loving other living things other than inanimate objects like your Jimmy Choo shoes or Louis Vuitton handbags and gold-plated iPhone. Perhaps it would be more useful if you got a dog that you take good care of or tended to a rose-garden. That’s how you attract the love and respect of others. How you do one thing is how you do everything!
Secondly, a married man may seem to have it all, and be in a better place financially than your current boo. However which came first? The riches or his marital status? 95% of the time, the riches came after he got married. Together his wife most likely helped him make the best of his opportunities, repriotize his activities, friendships and associations, shed his bad habits and generally become a much better person. Besides there’s a legend about a good marriage being a blessing, I think it’s true!
So if you want a good man, learn to pull yourself together and become a better person. If you already have a good man who isn’t Mr. Perfect, then roll up your sleeves and focus on bringing out the best in him. This isn’t done by nagging, comparing or complaining but my words of affirmation and kindness.
True love will find you in the end. If it hasn’t found you, then it isn’t the end.
Make Your Life a Blockbuster!