Why Do You Love Me?

Notice the presupposition in that statement? I am assuming that you love me, but I don’t know why.

Now if you don’t love me, then that’s going to obviously be quite hard to answer unless you’re good with telling white lies (but hey why the heck wouldn’t you genuinely love me- I’m amazing).

But if you really do love me, then you would need to come up with several reasons or even make up some fictitious reasons in order to justify your affections.

However a better question is to ask your lover would be, “On a scale of 1-10, can you evaluate the quality of our relationship? One being “I wish I never met you at all, you bastard”. And ten meaning “I wish we were both vampires so this love may never grow old or die”. This way you really know the actual rating of your relationship with just about anyone.

So I asked my beautiful wife this burning question a few days after our 3rd wedding anniversary. At first she gave me a quizzical look, then her eye brows furrowed as she thought long and hard. She hesitated before answering this question.

I held my breath and my heart stopped beating entirely albeit momentarily. She thought about it for about a minute that seemed like nearly 40 minutes to me. And then she scored me “8/10”.

Yipeee!! My inner god did a somersault and two back-flips and all the butterflies in my belly started flying back in formation. An 8!!! That’s still a pretty decent score, right?

Honestly, I was okay with being an 8/10 husband. No one except God is perfect right? If it were an exam it would still be a solid A+ grade. But then a second thought soon crossed my mind- What if some dodgy guy comes along who is a 10/10? Like a Denzel Washington dude or Jason Statham kinda guy to compete with me? Hmmm…. so I asked her the next question.

“Thanks for your honesty and generosity baby. But please what will it take to score a 10/10 by our next anniversary?”

And so she proceeded to tell me what I ought to be doing. Of course I won’t tell you what she said – that’s trade secret!

Let’s just say her love language is spending quality time. But here I was thinking that perhaps if I buy her a brand new Baby Range or Mercedes GLK or perhaps took her shopping in Dubai it would make up for the other two missing points. Now I know better simply because I bothered even asking.

Also notice I didn’t argue with her or berate her for daring to score me a lousy 8/10 even though my ego may have me thinking that I am the next best discovery the world has ever known since crude oil.

Now you might be thinking, how does Ebuka’s relationship palaver affect my business?

Well it certainly does! You can learn a thing or two. ‎

Why do your customers buy from you?

One of the avid readers of this blog, Chibuzor, made a comment few days ago, ‎“Coach, I have regular customers who buy my industrial machines but I don’t know why they prefer me over my competitors”.

I guess some of you may have the same puzzle also. Or you might even have vague guesses as to why. Well take the randomness out and do so simply by asking these two questions:

1. On a scale of one to ten can you rate the quality of your experience with us so far?

2. What will it take to get a 10/10?

That way your customer becomes an unpaid consultant and will tell you what service gaps are lacking in your business and what you’re already doing right that perhaps you even take for granted and might overlook. After a while due to cost-cutting or budget squeeze, you perhaps even stop doing it.

The second question is even more important than the first as it compels the customer to really think of what’s missing and now you have access to read their minds and brilliant ideas. It’s up to you to implement these ideas or let someone else do so and steal your wife/customer.

So there you have it- two key questions that can make your customer service experience much better.

Now I have just 2 questions for you:

1. On a scale of one to ten kindly rate my blog?

2. What will it take to score a 10/10?

I’ll be expecting your reply 🙂

P/S: Eid Mubarak to all the Muslim Faithful who fasted for the last 30 days…. a brilliant way to make weight loss compulsory if you ask me. Enjoy the holidays!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic.

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24 thoughts on “Why Do You Love Me?

  1. Was glad when I saw my comment used on today’s post. If I should rate your blog I would say 8/10 like your wife rated your marriage. Your blog posts are consistent and on most times I have to contend reading it before my devotion. Like today am reading it before my devotion.

    The truth is that most of your post especially those focussed on business would be more practical in a business that provides services than products. Off course services are products but in this context services are fluid and are most times not visible while products are visible.

    The non-visibiltiy of a service makes it possible for other competitors not to easily decipher what you are doing special unlike a product that a competitor could easily look over and immediately find the missing link.

    For me what works for products is simply pricing. Average Nigerians/retailers wants cheap products especially when you import and sells in large quantity. So you are the king of the business if you have an appreciable quality product that is cheap.

    But generally your blog post on life issues are just awesome. Daalu

    • Thanks Chibuzor. I think whether you sell products or services, you can still figure out a way to ensure that you have a unique selling point asides from price.

      I won’t belabour you with the details here. But in another post, I think I will dwell with the matter most businessmen now overlook. You see my friend, the world has changed since Michael Porter came up with the the 4Ps of Marketing- Price, Product, Place, Promotion.

      There’s a new model now. I’ll write on it. Thanks for being my muse and always evoking a new train of thought.

  2. Nice caption, as usual!

    In servicing others(mind my language), it’s easy to imagine you’re doing a great job, and your customers might be okay with your quality…..until they meet someone else. In pricing, customer relationship, service quality one needs to know the competition intimately. Truly it’s harder to copy a service business, but easier to replace because of the lack of brand loyalty.
    You can’t do service,if you don’t know politics and realise that your business has to be emotionally relevant to the customer as it serves no physical need.
    Like in a marriage, we get to a point were it’s no longer what I feel about my spouse,but what he makes me feel about myself. Great business leaders make us feel special.

    Like this blog, the language is simple, straight forward,most captions makes me feel great, it’s timely, short and precise. Just enough to get you through till the next post
    I’ll rate it a 10, cos the content is relevant to me, my young kids read it and ask me if the person is talking to me, so it has a personal touch.

    Well done Ebuka, I don’t know how you do it with a young family and all but you do it!

    • Thanks aa million for your kind words Doro. A 10/10!!!! Wow!!! I feel immensely blessed and filled with gratitude already for having great people like you take out time to read this blog regularly. This feels nearly as good as winning a million bucks…. I’ve never won a million bucks but I guess this comes as close as it gets.

      On how I do it? Let’s just say I have a supportive wife who understands that I enjoy writing. The more I write, the better I think and can reflect on my past experiences, the present situation and envisage the future. So I write for me as much as I write for you. For without writing, how can one think critically and reflect more deeply?

      Please keep reading.

  3. Nice one Sir, on the rating, permit me to align myself with your wife. As you’ve rightly observed, your input can be of immense benefit to both service and product ‘commodities’ dealers or merchants. How one understands and apply the principles highlighted is the key thing.
    In all, you’re such a prolific and thoughtful researcher. Always looking forward to read from you daily and I must tell you sinncerely, I envy you!
    Thanks for sharing the Light!

    • Thanks for the compliments John. I can assure you, there’s nothing to envy about me. If we were to switch lives for one day, you’ll be begging to be back in your life in the next 30minutes:)

      Being #Ebuka e no easy oh! I even wonder how I manage my job, family, writing, business and still find time to hang out with my crazy set of friends:)

  4. Those two questions are really great pointers in the right direction,if truth is what we want and improvement is what we’re after. Thanks!

    And as to how they relate to askebuka.com… That’s a solid 10 for me. The language is captivating. The style is unique. The thoughts are engaging. The topics are relevant.

    When I find why it should be less than 10, I will return. For now, I should add another one and make it 11.


  5. Hello Boss!

    Blog rating: 8/10

    What to do to make it 10/10:

    A bit difficult to answer, but I’ll tell you why I rated it 8/10 maybe that will answer the 10/10 question.

    1. I would appreciate if the blog link me to recommended blogs or websites, ebooks…in one word, resources (in terms of business) occasionally

    2.I feel http://www.askebuka.com still need to be further defined. As in, is it a blog strictly for solopreneurs, freelancers, the small timer etc or a blog for those in the training/consultancy business. E.g I relate more to the post on Solopreneurs. How they are to transit from the point they are to where they ought to be. The Marketing advice (how to make it rain). Lessons they can learn from the high class prostitute and 419 etc I often wish whenever I visit askebuka.com the post will be on Solopreneurs 😀


    But in all, it is a very original, insightful, resouceful and educative blog

    Weldone boss.

    • @Dickson, thanks for your honest feedback. Sometimes I write for solopreneurs and entrepreneurs.

      Other times I write for everyday people. My writings come from my daily experiences with people and events. So it’s always going to be a mix of both worlds. I’m not always an entrepreneur. Sometimes I’m just a daddy. Other times I’m just a fun-loving guy with loads of friends and traveling experience. So I’ll write some of that too:)

      But I’ll dish out more on selling, solopreneurs and business often. You can count on that

  6. To be honest, I am completely short of words. If those two questions were asked in every relationship be it Cordial or Intimate, there will be a substantial increase in the number of happy people out there. Your blog has a threshold of 8 as far as I am concerned and it shouldn’t go below that value. My personal opinion, however, would be a 10. It is captivating. It offers the right perspective and mindset one should adopt when faced with life issues as well as business issues. It relates to the reader on a personal level. It’s as if you’re speaking to us (readers) in person. I love your blog Ebuka and I am not interested in faulting it. Let’s stay positive, shall we?

  7. am a recent blogger here and I must say you are great at what you do…….I like the fact that you do alot of research b4 writing. for now I will rate you a 10

  8. I rate it 9/10. I’m a regular reader, though I don’t comment. Your blog has enlighten me on a couple of things. Please don’t stop.

  9. Dear Ebuca,
    I love to find a lot of interesting information in your blog.
    Thank you for nspiration articles.
    10- no less!
    Sincerely, Julia