Sometimes we win by losing. Because we’re afraid of truly winning and the costs that come attached with it.
Or at other times we’re afraid of losing and the embarrassment or pain that comes along with it.
So instead we stall, we procrastinate or we engage in avoidance behaviour. That way we avoid losing face. We maintain our ego and self-image. We don’t get to fail or fall flat on our face.
So in one sense we “win”, it’s an imaginary victory. But in another way, we also lose, as we vanquish our desire for really winning and overcoming our fears.
Our fears are largely imaginary. These fears are feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, shame, denial, pride that lead to attitudes and behaviour. Most often it happens on automatic and we don’t even know when it happens as we have become habituated.
What are you afraid of? It could be anything ranging from asking your crush out, marketing your services, renewing your car documents, getting your company’s tax certificate done, submitting your business proposal to new clients, sending in an invoice for service renewal, going for a medical check-up, calling up your parents or past clients.
Now ask yourself, is this fear real or imagined? What’s stopping you from confronting this? Will they send a hit-man to kill you if you take action rather than procrastinate or avoid it? Of course that’s highly unlikely.
Another useful question to ask yourself is – what’s the cost of your avoidance behaviour? Are you happier for it? Does it cost you money that you would have otherwise gained? Do you lose time or a potential to bridge a relationship?
Now if you truly find the time to answer these questions, it gradually becomes obvious to you that your beliefs are what’s holding you back. So change your beliefs and you can change your life.
I can help you with this if you’re interested in getting over your limiting beliefs and Make Your Life a Blockbuster!